Wandering souls and non-sensual shoulder massages

After wandering solo for the first few days, I teamed up with 2 Dutch girls to go to Ometepe Island. I´ve been traveling with Lynn Von Dutch and Elle Hollandia for about a week now. They are both 26 and hilarious. Their philosophy is ´¨travel, party, and marry a rich guy at some point.´ I can´t tell if they are kidding or not, but I have started to lean toward the latter when they asked to adopt me as their little brother. In Holland, it is the little brother´s role to find their sisters rich men to marry. These girls crack me up. Recently, I have been playing wing man for them while they hit on Chilean hombres. They ask that I protect them from making terrible decisions and in return I will recieve non-sensual shoulder massages. It´s overall a pretty nice deal. No complaints.


Soon we arrived in San Juan Del Sur, the burnout capital of the world. It´s a sleepy beach town full of gringos and little surf shops with hay roofs.

I arrived at the hostel dorm where I walked in on 2 people having sex in the 14-bed dorm. To avoid any awkwardness, the three of us started talking about good restaurants in the area. I dropped my bags and went to lunch with the Dutch girls. Here we ran into Kevin Queef from California, who we had met before in Ometepe. This time, Queef had a black eye from a sketchy drug deal he had partaken in the night before. Queef publically announces ¨does anyone have any weed?¨ whenever there is a large group he wants to impress. He told us the story about his night in jail and proceeded to nap in his unmarked white van. Sketchfest.

Nighttime arrived. I went down to the beach to find Canadian Adam and Mikka Ishfin from Finland. These 2 guys are the most unlikely travel duo. Mikka is a 43 year old bachelor who speaks almost 0 english, while Canadian Adam is a 31 year old surf guru traveling the entire world in 14 months. The only thing they have in common is their love for Hockey, which is enough. These are my 2 favorite guys on the trip so far. We sat on an upside down row boat and sipped rum until 2am. Canadian Adam is going to show me how to surf, so I´m off to meet him and punch some sharks in the face.