Pai- Eat it up

Pai is a myth. A small town nestled in the mountains, this gem looks like a Thai version of a Lord of the Rings village. Took 4 hours of windy mountain roads to arrive, even though Pai only sits 50 miles from Chiang Mai. A magnificent drive with Zen-like views, though most passengers had the vomit sucked from the bottom of their souls due to the chaotic driving of Stickshifting Thai minibus driver.

I arrived in Pai sweaty and alone. It took but 5 minutes to meet some friendly foreigners who had come to Pai on a whim, and never left, sucking on their foreign bank accounts ever so slowly. (Accomodation is $3-4/night). I met a hacky-sack enthusiast from SoCal who described Pai as "The Chillest Place on Earth." His name is Chad (Go figure). Chad is correct.

Aesthetically, this is the coolest looking place I have ever seen. Tiny treefort cafes, bars, and fancy shantys hug the Kate Moss thin road. Power goes out once per day and the town is lit by candles. Charming. No ransackery ensues.

Unless you are frying bananas or pork-stick at a street vendor, you do nothing during the day. This is grand. No one works. They just chill in sandles and sip Chang Beer and moonshine (locally made). However, there is a random/strange Thai law that prohibits beer sales from the hours of 11:00-2:00. No one knows why this law exists.

Hungry, I looked for dinner and potential temporary friends. I stumbled upon 2 music-junkie drifters from England, Don Goggles and Pat McBritain. McBritain is the jam. He’s a drummer who played in a indie-band before he became a nomad. This dude is everything I stereotyped a Brit-indie hipster to be- hash train conductor hat, tight pants, v-neck, and rolls his own cigs, smoking one-after another in machine gun fashion. Goggles is a mega nerd, but he’s money. He’s one of those guys who just looks sweet. He’s not handsome or smooth, but he looks like McCartney in the 60’s, minus the dashing good looks, plus chop sideburns and weezer glasses. He’s walks like he’s got a stick in his butt, yet he looks legit doin’ it.


McBritain and Goggles are advocates of hops-brewed beverages. The go out and see music every night, thus having major Pai scene cred. They know all the musicians and facts about them…

Me: “Whoah, check out that guys dreds!” (Down to his ankles)
Goggles: “That’s Took from Chaing. He’s been growing them for 14 years.”
Goggles proceeds to see a treefort recording studio the next day, owned by a local German hippie.

The pai music scene is sick. I have never seen more dreads. Much reggae, opium, and Blink 182 cover bands. Their thick Thai accents make the songs hilarious. Goggles introduced me to a few of the Thai music bar owners, so I’m trying to get an opening set for the house band tonight.

I am living in a bungalow shanty with a nice mosquito net and a mattress, yet it is the most comfortable bed ive had on the trip. There is a great difference between “Touristy” and “Tourist-friendly,” Pai is the ladder.

I continue to feast like a king and throw funny-money around on gifts for lads in Madison.


The plumbing is suspect. I've clogged 3 toilets since i've been here. No dis to the Pai cooking, all healthy stools. But not even the Thai Super Mario can handle the American mastery of dominating the can. I apologize to the 4'5'' Thai grandma who kept the toilet shop. (Cost of toilet use, 5 cents).

I am really dehydrated from the coffee and late night of live-music and campfire beer slurping. Gonna grab an h20. Talk soon!
Newski